Web Site Name

Scientists are generally happier than artists, since they’re commonly lost in objective tasks and not examining their own navels.

—Bertrand Russell

One of the great ironies of life is that the only way to be personally fulfilled is to place your focus outside of yourself.

Consider the sad cases of any number of celebrities and professional athletes. Paris Hilton. Britney Spears. Lindsay Lohan. Marilyn Monroe. Judy Garland. Michael Jackson. Michael Vick. O.J. Simpson.  The list goes on and on and on.

What does this unfortunate but diverse group have in common? From a very early age, they were taught that they were special. All parents try to instill this thought in their children, but in these cases there was no accompanying sense of humility, no understanding of their need to fit into and improve the world around them. These young people were so special that the normal rules of behavior and obligation did not apply. Their goal in life was to show the world how beautiful, talented, and special they were, not to make a contribution to society.

In short, it was all about them.

I don’t know about you, but I have always felt deeply sorry for these sad individuals. What a miserable existence it must be to spend one’s entire life in the vacuum of self. But they are smart people; they must instinctively have known that this was not right, even though their so-called friends assured them that it was. Too often, the ironic result of this conflict is secret, agonizing insecurity and a futile search for meaning.

What does this have to do with you? Children are naturally and unavoidably self-centered creatures, and adults, in an effort to instill self-esteem, often magnify this mindset through their words and actions. As you approached adulthood yourself, you most likely came to realize that the world does not actually revolve around you. In that respect, you’re already several steps ahead of the group we’ve been discussing.

It's all in your head.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

—William Shakespeare

Early on, we must establish the premise that you, and only you, have control over your own thinking. This is an absolute truth, and you must accept it before going further.

To reject this premise is to view yourself as helpless, weak, and unable to think independently. Everyone knows on some level that they can control their minds, but most never consciously do it. Once you accept that you can control your thinking, the next step is to take responsibility for doing so.

Have you ever known anyone who only seemed to be happy when he or she was miserable? This may be because you can blame misery on someone else, but you must take personal responsibility in order to be happy. As Robert Anthony put it, “Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy.”

What these miserable people can’t grasp is that their misery is their own fault, just as they would deserve the credit if they were happy. Both happiness and misery are results of simple decisions you make about your attitude.

Martha Washington said, “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances.” Follow this logic with me for a moment: if our happiness is determined by our disposition, and we can control that disposition, then we have the power to create our own happiness.

Your disposition is like a garden: if you pay attention to it and give it care, it will grow and flourish. If you ignore or neglect it, then weeds will creep in, the good stuff will die, and it will get ugly.

You are the gardener of your own disposition. It’s not a job that you can delegate to others, and it’s not going to happen on its own. If it’s going to get done, you will have to do it yourself. Don’t expect outside forces to provide that which you alone control.

Introduction: How you can benefit from these lessons.

You only live once—but if you work it right, once is enough.

—Joe E. Lewis

Life will teach you all this stuff eventually. The more you pick up now, the better off you’ll be.

They say that youth is wasted on the young. Being young yourself, you can’t really know what this means yet, so I’ll tell you. Right now, you have three things going for you: (1) time, (2) energy, and (3) a belief that you can change the world. As a young adult, you enter a world of limitless possibilities, and you think you’re ready for anything. In some ways you are, and in some you’re not.

There’s a downside to youth: your pool of life experience is limited to a few short, childhood-era years. But as each day passes, you become just a bit smarter than you were the day before. Over a long period of months and years—and later, decades—you become vastly advanced from your previous self.

Some days, you learn more than others. Some days—usually days involving a very tough experience—you learn more than you want to learn. But one thing’s for sure: you’re just starting out in life. Although the possibilities are indeed limitless, you still have a lot to learn.

I’m sure you realize that there are some things they just don’t teach you in school. What they do teach is knowledge. What they can’t teach is wisdom. And a happy life takes just as much wisdom as it does knowledge—in fact, more.

You may have noticed that the words wise and old are often used together. That’s because wisdom generally takes a long time to acquire. The downside of old age, of course, is that by the time you become old and wise, all that time and energy you had as a youth are in short supply.

The idea of these lessons is to help you gain as much practical wisdom as possible now—to give you a head start in life, so to speak.

And there’s one thing I can guarantee: the wiser you are, the happier and more successful you will be.